A Change of Heart

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One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple. (Psalm 27:4)

At my church’s “Hearing God’s Voice” study last night we were encouraged to write down what we really want from Jesus or what it is we want Jesus to do for us.  At first I didn’t really have an answer – at least not right away.

However, one of the Bible passages we were given to meditate on was Mark 10:35-45 about the request of James and John to sit at the right and left of Jesus in his glory.  Jesus tells them that they don’t truly know what they are asking although they insist that they do.  He then has to calm down the other disciples, who were indignant about this request, with these words:

 “…Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.  For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:43-45)

It was after looking at these last few verses of the Mark 10 passage that I began to think perhaps I had been asking Jesus for the wrong things lately and sensed He was wanting to redirect my thinking in this area.  I realized most of my requests of Jesus at the moment have been very self-focused and dare I say even a bit selfish.  And it became apparent God was telling me right now, “You don’t know what you are asking.” (Mark 10:38)  

So what I finally wrote down at the end of the night was this:  “Lord, I want a change of heart – I want to have YOUR heart.”  I tried to share my thoughts and feelings with my group but didn’t really feel like I got them across very well.  I was feeling a bit discouraged by this as I left that evening.

Back home, the first email I opened was a new devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries entitled, “Why Dreaming Small Might Be The Secret To Living Your Biggest Dream.”  It stated so many of the things I had been realizing from my meditations on Mark 10 earlier that night.  Here’s a quote I really liked: I have asked one thing from the LORD — it’s all I seek.’  When all was said and done, David’s burning desire was to enjoy the presence of His Lord. His greatest wish wasn’t for gain, but for loss. And when this mighty king chose to lose himself in the Lord, he found the secret to living the life of his dreams; a life large enough to be remembered for generations to come (Matthew 1:6-18).”

And the prayer given at the end of the devotional?  Right along the same theme of what I had written down for myself that night!  “Dear God, Shrink the gap between Your heart and mine and grow within me a giant love for You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”   Reading this prayer literally made me gasp with the sheer beauty of God’s timing.

In addition, the fact that this devotional came to my inbox at 9:04pm, just as we had been wrapping up our study that evening, caused me to do a double-take and feel that it was a confirmation from God I was on the right track.  Isn’t it interesting that all the while I’d been seeking after God, He was there looking after my needs all along?!

**I am linking up with Holley Gerth’s Coffee for Your Heart today.  Click on the image below to read some other great posts from the linkup**

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2 thoughts on “A Change of Heart

  1. Jean Marie Bauhaus

    I’m your next door neighbor this week at Coffee For Your Heart. I read that devo this morning, too, and it and your subsequent post really have me examining what I’ve been asking God to do in my life.

    Blessings,
    Jean @ Daydream Believer

    Reply
    1. Bethany Post author

      Hi Jean,
      Funny that you read that same post that I referenced here. Not a coincidence I’m sure! I’m glad I could play a small part in your faith journey as well then.
      Thanks,
      Bethany

      Reply

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